34 Thoughts
Today I turn 34, or as my dad likes to put it, the last year that I’m closer to 30 than I am to 40. Good times. I used to hate my birthday, like really loathe it. I think it’s because I would create all these expectations in my head and then would never relay these expectations. I sort of half hoped people would read my mind and then when they couldn’t, I’d use it as an excuse to hate on birthdays. It’s hot nonsense. Thankfully, I’ve evolved and this year I told my family, “Hey guys, I’d love a home cooked meal I didn’t cook myself and a lemon poppy seed cake. If you’re feelin’ extra generous, I’d love a pair of Birkenstocks and a child free trip to Powell’s!”
Birthdays, much like New Years, also make me reflective. 34 feels like an age where I wonder if I should have it more together than I do. Shouldn’t I be past hitting the snooze button 6 times? Why does my monthly budget still get blown every time I hit the candle aisle at Target? But then I think on the past and look around and have to give myself a little credit. 10 years ago I had just barely closed the chapter on keg stands, and I spent a lot of time on the phone with Bank of America negotiating overdraft fees. 10 years before that, I was conflicted about buying cargo pants at the Gap because it might not jive with my short-lived Goth phase. I’ve come a long way.
I may have some more pronounced crow’s feet and look tired 100% the time, but I’ve also learned a thing or two. Through my own experience, the wisdom of others, and lessons I’m still striving to internalize on a daily basis, I’ve grown exponentially. That process won’t end. I hope I’m 87 years old someday and still evaluating how I can be better. At this moment in time, this is what I’m working with. Because I love a good list almost as much as I love a good gimmick, I’ve compiled a list of the 34 most significant lessons in my life, including those I still hope to master.
In no particular order:
1. Support budding entrepreneurs. If you see a kid on the side of the road selling lemonade, pull over and buy a cup.
2. Keep change in your car for parking meters and aforementioned lemonade stands. Also, carry back up deodorant, and if you’ve ever been pregnant, a spare pare of underwear couldn’t hurt.
3. If you are going to catch caterpillars to observe for your science project, you have to set them up with a proper habitat, otherwise it’s just murder.
4. Natural talent only gets you so far; without commitment and consistency you will never know how good you could be. (Shout out to Mr. Miles, my bassoon teacher of 6 years, who gave me this speech on a weekly basis).
5. If a child tells you they are going to throw up, believe them.
6. There is no such thing as a guilty pleasure. Unless you like doing heroin or kicking puppies, don’t feel badly about things that make you happy. I like to sing along to Taylor Swift and I prefer Malibu rum to whiskey. I don’t care that it makes me less cool. It tastes better.
7. Your parents are people too. They don’t deserve to be held to a higher standard than normal human beings
8. The BEST things in my life so far were not part of my plan. Go off the beaten path you’ve made for yourself.
9. Listen more than you talk (I’ve got a ways to go on this one).
10. A good book, a cup of tea, and a fluffy comforter can make the world feel right again.
11. Apologize and mean it when you’ve been a dick. Don’t be a dick in the first place if you can help it, but we all have our moments.
12. After many months, I learned how to pee in a squat toilet without needing to change my pants afterwards. I wish I could pass on this most valuable lesson, but it’s mostly muscle memory at this point.
13. Travel, travel, travel. And then travel some more.
14. Your way is not better or worse because someone does it differently. Comparison really is the thief of joy. (I like to put this one in the easier said than done category).
15. A few deep breaths in times of tension and stress will prevent words you can’t take back.
16. Anyone can find the dirt; be the person who sees the gold.( Stiiiiiilllllllll workin’ on this).
17. You will never regret taking the high road and staying classy. You might regret drunkenly calling your ex-boyfriend and leaving voicemails about how you’re so much better off without him. I wouldn’t know; I’ve just heard from a friend.
18. I’d like to quote 2 guys that have both impacted me greatly: Buddha says, “The trouble is, we think we have the time.” Tom Coliochio, head judge of Top Chef, reminds us: “Don’t postpone joy.”
19. If you feed your dog crayons, it does not necessarily make their poop really colorful, but it will land you in time out.
20. “You can be the juiciest, ripest peach in the world, but there will still be someone who hates peaches” – Dita Von Teese
21. Gratitude changes your attitude!
22. My mom used to quote Thumper regularly throughout my childhood: “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nuthin’ at all.” WORK IN PROGRESS.
23. Marry someone who makes you belly laugh and loves you even when you lose your keys on a daily basis.
24. The things that are MOST important have the greatest tendency to get back burnered. Check in with yourself regularly about where your energy is going.
25. Don’t keep nice words inside. If you hear something, think something, notice something that has the possibility of making someone else feel good, TELL THEM!
26. The scope of things we can control is really, really tiny.
27. None of us are getting out of this alive, so we might as well laugh about it.
28. It’s not worth the energy to separate your whites from your colors. It’s all laundry. And it’s all going to sit on the couch for the next week and a half.
29. There is no prize for sticking with things you don’t like. It’s OK to quit a book in the middle. (Insert any other thing you’re sticking with out of obligation).
30. There is so much to care about in the world and so many causes that are in desperate need of attention. It’s not possible to dedicate your time and energy to all of it, but you MUST stand for something.
31. What you say in the privacy of your own home will no doubt be repeated in public by a precocious 4 year old.
32. If you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of others. It’s impossible to pour from an empty pitcher.
33. Surround yourself with badass feminists and dreamers and people who inspire you to be better. And if they don’t think Tina Fey is funny, they might not be your people.
34. It’s worth it to floss.
 |
| My mom's cookies. A celebration without these cookies is not a celebration. |